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Bristol Palin's Memoir: The Juiciest Bits

First Brush with Alcohol

Bristol lies to her mother, Sarah Palin, telling her she's “going to stay the night at Ema's house,” (Pg. 2) but instead goes off on a camping trip in Point MacKenzie with her “ruggedly handsome boyfriend,” Levi Johnston. In the back of Levi's red pickup truck are “firearms for protection against wildlife, and lots of alcohol.” At this point, young Bristol hadn't had a sip of alcohol, and especially “didn't know that the girly flavored wine coolers were just as likely to get you drunk as the hard stuff.” (Pg. 2) Bristol proceeds to down wine cooler after wine cooler, as she “slowly surrendered to their woozy charms.” (Pg. 3) Levi keeps replacing her finished wine coolers with new ones, and soon Bristol hits “that awful wall” that takes her from a “happy buzz” into “the dark abyss of drunkenness.” (Pg. 3) The last thing she remembers is sitting by the fire and laughing with friends, and doesn't remember waking up in her tent the next morning “with something obviously askew.”

Levi Takes Advantage of Her

Bristol awakens in her tent, with no recollection of the night before. She looks over and sees Levi's empty sleeping bag right beside hers, and hears Levi and his friends “outside the tent laughing.” (Pg. 3) Bristol immediately texts her friend to get over to the tent, and she immediately pops over and tells her, “You definitely had sex with Levi.” (Pg. 4) Despite being brought up in a Christian household determined to save herself until marriage, Bristol laments the fact that her virginity had been “stolen,” and as she surveys the evidence in the tent, soon realizes that “all of my plans, my promises, and my moral standards had disappeared in one awful night in a series of bad decisions.” Bristol also regrets that Levi wasn't even there to comfort her, and instead of waking up in his arms—like they do in the movies—she came to “in a cold tent alone as he talked with his friends on the other side of the canvas.” (Pg. 5) Bristol soon reaches the inevitable conclusion: “I was going to marry Levi. I had to now.”

Meeting Levi Johnston

In seventh grade, Bristol's locker is conveniently right next to Levi Johnston's, and she soon succumbed to his good looks and cockiness. When her English teacher assigned her a letter to be inserted into a time capsule, Bristol wrote about her desire to own fifty pairs of jeans, having her own pig, wanting to go to a Lakers game, meeting President Bush, and last but not least, wrote, “I have a crush on Levi Johnston.” (Pg. 30) Despite running into trouble with her teacher Grandpa for shooting spitballs and punching kids in class, and running afoul of Sarah Palin for bragging after beating her older brother Track in hockey, Levi and Bristol began passing notes, when one day he passed her a note that read, “Will u be my gurl?” (Pg. 31) Bristol hurriedly scribbled back, “No! You're supposed to ask me in person.

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